HERE WE GO AGAIN

Sorry for the long gap between posts. I've been too busy with work, applications and general clutter to post a blog these past few months.

Oh wait. Work, you say? I can hear the naysayers saying, well, "Nay!". Ahmad doesn't work. Well, I did. For two whole months. And in return, I received a measly 300 bucks a month. The future doesn't bode well for an aspiring lawyer in Malaysia. Maybe it's karma. But then again, I thought the essence of the whole karma idea was that bad people get reincarnated as lower-level life forms or sumthing like that. I must've been some really evil, rotten, downright despicable person in my past life. Maybe a driving instructor or something of that ilk.

I hate applying to law firms for a job. It takes the best of six or seven hours just to complete the form, not to mention the time wasted checking up on the stuff and the countless hours wasted infront of the computer doing research on the firms... and for what? I've lost count of the number of computer-generated rejections I've received over the past few weeks. Still, I should count myself lucky to get an interview at Clifford Chance. However, I'm still pissed with the rest of the lot so here's my bitching over and done with:

FRESHFIELDS BRUCKHAUS DERINGER, HERBERT SMITH, NORTON ROSE, ALLEN & OVERY,EVERSHEDS, SLAUGHTER & MAY et al... YOU SUCK!!!

I know. It's lame. But hey! As they keep saying in their letters, it's nothing personal. I just hate you guys.

FOUR MEMORIES AND A WEDDING

My friend got married in Ipoh yesterday. Congratulations Acong, if you're reading this. Hope you guys have a great life together (though I hardly know your wife!). It was such a surprise to see Acong... he was so HUGE (and before any of you get any ideas, I am NOT gay!). I remembered that he was always quite big anyway, but seeing him yesterday was still a shock. My, how people change when you're not looking, especially if you've turned your eye aside for the past six years or so.

It was nice as well to see my other friends whom I've not seen for oh so long. A lot of em are married already. One's actually teaching in Malacca right now. Funny.. I never thought that Fahmi Miskon would turn out to be a lecturer, but there you go. Shows you how much of a clairvoyant I am. Fahmi or 'sukun' as we called him, was somebody who, shall we say, liked to ride without a saddle. Or go au naturale. Let's leave it at that. :P

Went there with Feud's car, hence it was the perfect occasion for a 3-hour nostalgic reminiscing session. Feud was a really close friend back in KMYS... I spent quite a lot of time in his room playing Final Fantasy VII. Hadn't seen him for four years up till then... I suppose the difference between a true friend and a "hi-and bye" type is that no matter how long you've been separated, once you get together it'll be just like it was before; no awkwardness, no difference.

Speaking of KMYS, I love that place. Sure, there were some painful memories associated with it, but hey! I grew up a lot there. Seeing Puan Raha again was good. Hearing that she was happier now was excellent.

It's good to have a place to come home to.

My Indie Project

Talked to a friend a couple of days back. He's doing something along the movie-making lines lah, and he's actually freelancing at a post-production house in Wangsa Maju. He asked me about whether I was interested in making an indie movie. At the time the whole idea seemed nonsensical to me, but now when I've thought about it a little, it seems like a good idea. After all, I was always the one complaining about the comparative lack of outlets for my oh-so-great creative side. ;P

So I've thought about a couple of things that might be interesting. At this point, I've come up with two themes, one uplifting and the other depressing but revelatory (I think). The first deals with the question of whether it's better to dream and risk it not being fulfilled or not to expect anything at all and to be content with what we have, explored through the medium of a boy's mind growing up in the kampung of the 70's and his relentless exploits to win the love of a much older girl named (at this point) Jamilah. I won't bother to deal with the second one at this point,it's not as well developed. Tell me what you think.

BACK WHERE I BELONG

I'm back in Malaysia. Sure feels good to be home, to stay in my own room again. Is it just me, or are flights getting more and more boring? I spent the whole flight doing a bloody crossword puzzle. Even the movies suck. The only movie perhaps worth watching was maybe Starsky and Hutch, but the thing is I've already seen that movie. I mean, come on, "Girl Next Door"?? I'd rather watch the bloody Teletubbies smother each other with pillows.
Forgive the moaning and the excessive use of somewhat foul language. I've been reading Vernon God Little, a good read, maybe I'll do a lil review when I'm done with it.

Latest read: "I'm not scared" by Niccolo Ammaniati. A good book for those trying to recapture the lost beauty of childhood. It's translated into English from an Italian text, so I suppose some of its magnificence must have been lost in the process. Nevertheless the translator manages to capture the essence of the childhood terrors and thoughts that make that period of our lives the so wondrous. 3* out of 4.

House-hunting

Life is like house-hunting. Just when you think everything's going your way, when everything seems perfect, that's when you have to be extra careful, for usually that's when life decides to throw you a sucker punch right in the nosh. Usually it's really painful. Like when the landlord tells you that your dream house is already off the market.

Call me cynical, bitter, whatever. I'm not a bitter old hack. I am the product of that complex equation called experience. To my eyes everything has a hidden meaning, so that you always have to be on your guard. I guess the time may come that I shall realise that it may perhaps be better to view the world through rose-tinted glasses of our desires, but that time is not now, and I can't see it happening in the foreseeable future.

"Men have PMS too", somebody said that on the tagboard i think. True, but I think ours are triggered by specific events rather than specific times.

But then again that may just be me.

My Boring Life

Well, in the aftermath of the 'battle of room 12' we no longer have internet access in my place. So here I am, in an internet cafe in Baker Street expressing my thoughts. My parents are here in London; we're holing up in one of the apartments nearby. Which kind of explains why I am in Baker Street too.

I've been stuck in my room for the past couple of days now, reading up on Equity and Trusts. You never really know the meaning of boredom until you've read the thing you're supposed to read at least 10 times, repeated it in your head at least 5 times , and (if you're lucky enough) find a sod unlucky enough to be within earshot and polite enough to pretend to listen to you rant about the thing at least once a day. In this case, the unlucky (and extremely polite, I might add) sod is my sister. Merci. And a lot of that too.

I think I am an intensely boring person.

I COULD SERIOUSLY KILL SOMEONE SOON (well.. not THAT seriously)

Anybody who knows anything about me would know that I'm not too happy with my roomie. Well.. this morning things came to a head. He was the guy who was in charge of the Internet acess in our house, and naturally when there was no internet connection, the first thing I did was to ask him about it. I actually needed to access my uni webmail, because I had a sneaking feeling that there was a revision lecture today. Well there was, but I digress. In any case, I asked the guy in a normal, polite manner about the connection. He didn't answer me at first, so I repeated the query. He then brushed me off with a curt, "I don't know". Well... another thing that those who know me would know is that I have a short fuse too. So I decided to take a shower, but not before giving him a retort to the effect that he's not the only one having exams. I went out, had a shower, came back and turned on his computer myself so that I could do something about the internet connection, since he's obviously not going to do anything about it. He then came back into the room, and at the same instant, I accidentally hit his speakers as I was turning around. He then glared at me, and said, "Why are you taking it out on my stuff, then?" I mumbled something to the effect that it was an accident. Hours later, while he was still out, I thought I was a bit rude too, and it WAS a bit thoughtless of me to get into a row with the guy on the morning of his exams. So I left him a note on his table, saying I was sorry about all that, and that I didn't mean to get into the whole mess before his exams.

Guess what he did when he got home?

He brushed the paper aside, and has yet to say anything to me.

So I am sitting here, typing this rant of mine, witnessing my note of apology still probably unaccepted trashed by the side of his table.

The difference between me and him? We've both got short fuses, but at least I have a conscience.

And I'm also better looking. :p

Trustees... my most hated word.

Two blogs in two days... man I must reaaaaaaaly be bored. I think I started studying a little too early this year. I'm currently very much exhausted by it all... and running out of steam too. I've noticed that this happens every year. The nearer I get to the exams, the lazier I get. That's NOT a good thing.

Current read: powers of a trustee to maintain a minor, and power of a trustee to advance capital to beneficiaries. Boring, huh?

Mama and Papa's arriving soon. Hopefully that'll sort out my laziness. Have to buck up, starting now. I think I'll take a shower first tho.

But before that: Have you ever noticed that (and this perhaps only applies to those Malaysians in the UK, and still studying of course) we never get to enjoy the best times of the year, since during that time we're stuck in the house memorising stuff we won't even care about in 2 month's time?? Exams suck. Period.

I hate the fact that those who want you to do something/ be something else never say it out loud. It's always concealed behind a facade e.g. "Oh, I don't mind you wanting to do that, but wouldn't it be boring though? and why the sudden change in interests anyway? I thought you always wanted to do this, and that etc". You end up having to justify the decisions you made. Not that anything's certain anyway. What I decide now will probably be of little relevance in 10 years' time. But it pisses me off that people want to have a say in what I am, in what I become and they don't even have the decency to come out and say it. The former is enough to piss me off anytime; the latter though... man, this sucks. Am I being paranoid and neurotic? You tell me... I'm the one Nadia called a "younger version of Woody Allen". Although I think I look better.

Long time no blog!

actually i don't see the reason why i should. Nuthing much has been happening. Oh, apart from Nim's visit to London... which ROCKS!! I know. I 'm sad. My whole social life revolves around her. But hey! Who cares?

Starsky & Hutch was kinda nice. Shaun of the Dead was even cooler tho. Next stop: Kill Bill. Tho i think that one might be a disappointment... hopefully not on the same level as the Matrix farce tho.

I think I use 'tho' too much.

Non-charitable purpose trusts. Charitable trusts. Trusts & the family home. Hyde Park in summertime. Not a good combo, unless u're into dozing off at intermittent periods.

Everyone's getting on my nerves lately. I don't think it's possible for men to have PMS. Or is it?

latest read: re-reading "The remains of the day" by Kazuo Ishiguro. Highly recommended.

Constructive trusts... vehicle of the devil!!

Spent the day revising resulting and constructive trusts. sheesh. These things are massively boring, but ya gotta do 'em. Why is it that judges take 25 pages to say that when a trustee puts himself in a position where there would be a conflict between his personal interests and that of the beneficiary under the trust, any profits arising from that action would be held on constructive trust for that beneficiary, even in the absence of dishonesty on the part of the trustee (or any other fiduciary person)? They could've said so in just a sentence. In fact, I just did. :P

Maybe I should be a judge. Then again, maybe the fact that I can say so in only a sentence makes me somewhat under-qualified to be a judge. Hmmm... Which came first, the egg or the chicken?

Why can't Man Utd win again? Why did Rio Ferdinand have to be so unprofessional as to miss a bloody 'piss-in-the-bottle' test? Why oh why am I a Man U supporter, you may ask. Well. Just.

Brighton rocks... not.

The first thing he said to me was, "Please don't call me Mr. Sufian... it's just 'I' and 'you' between us". Of course, he said it in Malay. What's thepoint of me being an interpreter if he speaks English, anyway?

He was a Malaysian patient in Millview Hospital, a mental institution. I was there to help him get through the Mental Health review Tribunal hearing. Sadly he wasn't discharged. I thought he was basically an okay, if slightly weird and emotionally undeveloped, guy. Sheesh.

My exam is in 2 months time... no more procrastinating!!!

Well.. maybe later.

Rectal foreign bodies.. it's so funny it hurts. Ow.

Well.. it's official. I'm now part of the trend that is blogging. Hopefully it won't die out too soon, coz then I'd be left doing something which nobody finds fashionable anymore, and people will be saying, "oh look at that guy! Doesn't he realise that nobody cares what he has to say?? Blogging's not cool anymore, and besides, is this a pointless ego-inflating exercise??"

See what I mean when i say i think too much?

Actually i don't care if no one reads this (well, i do actually. Just a little.) It's 12.20 am and i have to be in brighton tomorrow. I can't sleep. I keep thinking about so many things. Like how things were much simpler when I was a kid, when I was a teenager. All I had to worry about was my studies... even then i didn't have to worry abt it that much. I guess i was lucky in that sense... things (most of them anyway) come easily to me. Stuff like economics... those were my forte.

Nowadays.. *sigh*... i don't know anymore. Those of you who know me will probably think "he's still hung up over mel, i guess". I don't think so. I just want to be in a place where everything is simple, and you can feel safe sleeping at night knowing that tomorrow will be a good day. Like when I was in MRSM, the only thing worrying me was whether we'd get chased by the warden for skipping compulsory stuff, like group exercises etc. Like when I was in KMYS.. well.. there were practically no worries there.

Talked to my sis over the phone just now. She said I was cyclothermic (?).. I don't know how to spell that term (or even if I got it right!) but supposedly it means that I get depressed easily, though it's nothing like clinical depression. Ahh well.

It doesn't help that the only person who could make me feel safe is halfway across the world.