I'll be gone tomorrow. From the UK I mean. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually sad to leave this stupid country. Much like in the movies, we never realise how much we love something till we're about to lose it. I grew up a lot here, made a lot of friends, some that I'll cherish till the end of my days (wekk.. uwekkk.. man.. gotta lay off the feel-good stuff). There are loads of memories associated with this country, some good, some bad, but all of them made me the man I am now. (Seriously dude, you gotta shake this nostalgic crap).
I still remember my first day in the UK back in 2001. My world was crumbling, tumbling down to mthe murky depths of oblivion. I stepped out of Heathrow Airport, and all I could see was the gray sky of London, and then it began to rain. I reached some pretty low points in the next year or so, but slowly my life began to turn around.
And now, I'll be going home, five years down the line, hopefully much the wiser. Never thought I'd get here in one piece, but I have. I'll be starting a whole new journey too with Hanim soon, and though I am full of trepidation at the start of this new phase in my life, I'm also quite happy to take the plunge, for if I've learnt anything in my five years in the UK, it is this: as long as you can look back and smile, you've done alright.
Hopefully in twenty years you'll see me reminiscing in a coffee shop and smiling to myself. You're more than welcome to join me for a cuppa if you wish, dear reader.
Oh, and the teh tarik's on me.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
"Use the Force, Luke... ". "I'd rather use a good script, Master Obi-Wan"
Watching Star Wars as I was growing up, I always thought it was a journey of discovery for one Luke Skywalker, from his humble beginnings as a farmboy with aspirations of interstellar travel, to a Jedi Master who restored the Order to its former glory. Having seen the first three parts of the series, however, one's point of view is now switched. The story is no longer about Luke primarily. It's about his father. Hence one would expect the character of Anakin/Darth Vader/all-round badass to be more developed in the first trilogy, as it was not explored as a primary character as such in the second trilogy.
Having seen the first three episodes now, I will attempt to summarise the development of the character Anakin in as few lines as possible.
Episode 1 (The Phantom Menace): "I'm gonna visit all the stars in the galaxy and save my mom from slavery!"
Episode 2 (Attack of the Clones): "I'm impatient... Grrr... I'm angry... grrr... oh no! Mommy's dead! Sob!... Hey hey, who's the hot chick?"
Episode 3 (The Revenge of the Sith): "I'm still impatient... Grrrrrrrr..... I'm still angry...... Grrrrrr... but now I'm conflicted as well.... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... but hey hey! I've got cool new lightsaber skills too!... And now, I'm Darth Vader, the most powerful tool of the Dark Side (but still, nonetheless, a tool. Tool. Tooooooooool. And just in case you didn't get that, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOL)
Hey.... hang on a minute. That wasn't so difficult. Oh yeah, that's because there's not much character development in the first place. Much of the so called 'character scenes' consist of Anakin looking like a guy standing in front of the Burger King cashier and considering whether he should get the curly fries or the regular fries. In short, a person with a very difficult decision on his hands (hey, it IS a difficult decision, okay?)
Sigh. Hayden Whatshisname was good especially towards the end, but some of his scenes really made me cringe with embarassment. This guy either has no capacity to express any other emotion apart from teenage angst or the script was really, really, abysmally at some points, bad. But then again, he delivered a sterling performance towards the end, so I guess it evens out to a fair rating. Also, I must admit that when the Darth Vader theme first played (the infamous "jeng jeng jeng jeng je-jeng jeng je-jeng".. I think it sounded better in my head), the geek in me cheered a bit *cough* HELL YEAH!!! *cough* *cough*.
Overall: 3.5 lightsabres out of 5.
Oh, and in other news, I've got an informal offer to work at Deutsche Bank KL. Yay!!!
Having seen the first three episodes now, I will attempt to summarise the development of the character Anakin in as few lines as possible.
Episode 1 (The Phantom Menace): "I'm gonna visit all the stars in the galaxy and save my mom from slavery!"
Episode 2 (Attack of the Clones): "I'm impatient... Grrr... I'm angry... grrr... oh no! Mommy's dead! Sob!... Hey hey, who's the hot chick?"
Episode 3 (The Revenge of the Sith): "I'm still impatient... Grrrrrrrr..... I'm still angry...... Grrrrrr... but now I'm conflicted as well.... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... but hey hey! I've got cool new lightsaber skills too!... And now, I'm Darth Vader, the most powerful tool of the Dark Side (but still, nonetheless, a tool. Tool. Tooooooooool. And just in case you didn't get that, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOL)
Hey.... hang on a minute. That wasn't so difficult. Oh yeah, that's because there's not much character development in the first place. Much of the so called 'character scenes' consist of Anakin looking like a guy standing in front of the Burger King cashier and considering whether he should get the curly fries or the regular fries. In short, a person with a very difficult decision on his hands (hey, it IS a difficult decision, okay?)
Sigh. Hayden Whatshisname was good especially towards the end, but some of his scenes really made me cringe with embarassment. This guy either has no capacity to express any other emotion apart from teenage angst or the script was really, really, abysmally at some points, bad. But then again, he delivered a sterling performance towards the end, so I guess it evens out to a fair rating. Also, I must admit that when the Darth Vader theme first played (the infamous "jeng jeng jeng jeng je-jeng jeng je-jeng".. I think it sounded better in my head), the geek in me cheered a bit *cough* HELL YEAH!!! *cough* *cough*.
Overall: 3.5 lightsabres out of 5.
Oh, and in other news, I've got an informal offer to work at Deutsche Bank KL. Yay!!!
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Unlucky
Arsenal 0 - 0 Man Utd (Arsenal win 5-4 on penalties)
Arsenal may have won the FA Cup, but they sure have lost something, or they should if they have any shred of decency. They have lost any right to say that Man Utd can play against them and win only by kicking them off the field. Utd didn't kick them off this time; we only totally and completely outplayed the mighty Gunners, who for long periods were made to look second-rate. The stats say it all: Utd had TWENTY shots on goal, with eight on target. The mighty, mighty Arsenal? Five. And one on target. Corners? Arsenal: 1, Man Utd: 12. Fouls? Arsenal: 30, Man Utd: 23. So who's outkicking who again?
In truth, the outcome was a travesty. To have created so much only to go home empty-handed is a sickener. Nonetheless, as much as it pains me to say this, all credit to Arsenal for clinging on for dear life throughout the game, and a round of applause is necessary for their coolness under fire on the penalty spot.
Then again, I'll just throw in the obligatory shout of "Wankers!" anyway.
Arsenal may have won the FA Cup, but they sure have lost something, or they should if they have any shred of decency. They have lost any right to say that Man Utd can play against them and win only by kicking them off the field. Utd didn't kick them off this time; we only totally and completely outplayed the mighty Gunners, who for long periods were made to look second-rate. The stats say it all: Utd had TWENTY shots on goal, with eight on target. The mighty, mighty Arsenal? Five. And one on target. Corners? Arsenal: 1, Man Utd: 12. Fouls? Arsenal: 30, Man Utd: 23. So who's outkicking who again?
In truth, the outcome was a travesty. To have created so much only to go home empty-handed is a sickener. Nonetheless, as much as it pains me to say this, all credit to Arsenal for clinging on for dear life throughout the game, and a round of applause is necessary for their coolness under fire on the penalty spot.
Then again, I'll just throw in the obligatory shout of "Wankers!" anyway.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Changes
Well, it's finally happened. I'm officially no longer a student, well, at least since Wednesday afternoon. I've finished my final paper, and I am now free. Free from studying, free to do whatever I want.
Except that I don't really know what I want to do. I know what I NEED to do. I need to find a job. I need to settle down. I need to finally earn my keep and not "finishing the beras", as it were. I need to go home. I need to pack up my stuff. I need to do so many things.
I should be happy now. I should be ecstatic. Yet there is this curious sense of emptiness. A sense of loss. Loss of purpose perhaps. I guess we all need a purpose, for without one, the world seems a lonely, lonely place. Without putting your faith in something, without blindly trusting that this is the reason for your existence, we would be as fragile and as flimsy as a dandelion seed floating in the wind, waiting for the next updraft to carry it away to lands unknown.
Sigh.
In more uplifting news, I have an interview with Deutsche Bank on Tuesday. It'd be great if I could get the job, because Hanim'll be working in the same building (albeit in a different company). Wish me luck, folks.
Changes are afoot. Things will never be the same again. But I'll survive, as I always have, Insya-Allah. God is Great. That's all I need to know.
Except that I don't really know what I want to do. I know what I NEED to do. I need to find a job. I need to settle down. I need to finally earn my keep and not "finishing the beras", as it were. I need to go home. I need to pack up my stuff. I need to do so many things.
I should be happy now. I should be ecstatic. Yet there is this curious sense of emptiness. A sense of loss. Loss of purpose perhaps. I guess we all need a purpose, for without one, the world seems a lonely, lonely place. Without putting your faith in something, without blindly trusting that this is the reason for your existence, we would be as fragile and as flimsy as a dandelion seed floating in the wind, waiting for the next updraft to carry it away to lands unknown.
Sigh.
In more uplifting news, I have an interview with Deutsche Bank on Tuesday. It'd be great if I could get the job, because Hanim'll be working in the same building (albeit in a different company). Wish me luck, folks.
Changes are afoot. Things will never be the same again. But I'll survive, as I always have, Insya-Allah. God is Great. That's all I need to know.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Worries
Hanim went through surgery today, to remove an ovarian cyst. Alhamdulillah it went fine, and hopefully there won't be any further complications. It worried me to no end though, not being able to do anything about it, not being able to be there.
Then again, it might have been for the best that I wasn't there. Else this might end up to be the case:
"Relax, Mr Ahmad. These things are fairly normal for women of child-bearing age"
"I don't care if it's fairly normal, or even if it's so normal that if it didn't occur, they'd put her on the David Letterman show next to Michael Jackson (who by the way is so freakishly alien-like that the authorities are suspecting that he is in reality a Mexican). Don't tell me to relax goddammit! That's my future you're putting under the knife, you sorry excuse for a surgeon's armpit dripping! So don't tell me to relax, dammit!"
"Relax, sir. She'll be fine"
*scuffle* *punch* *whack!*
Ahhh doctors. Where would we be without them?
Then again, it might have been for the best that I wasn't there. Else this might end up to be the case:
"Relax, Mr Ahmad. These things are fairly normal for women of child-bearing age"
"I don't care if it's fairly normal, or even if it's so normal that if it didn't occur, they'd put her on the David Letterman show next to Michael Jackson (who by the way is so freakishly alien-like that the authorities are suspecting that he is in reality a Mexican). Don't tell me to relax goddammit! That's my future you're putting under the knife, you sorry excuse for a surgeon's armpit dripping! So don't tell me to relax, dammit!"
"Relax, sir. She'll be fine"
*scuffle* *punch* *whack!*
Ahhh doctors. Where would we be without them?
Disappointment
Man Utd 1 - 3 Chelski
None of the Man Utd back four (oh, and the keeper) deserve to wear the Man Utd jersey. Ooh Rio, 100,000 pound a week? World-class defender? You're having a right laugh, aren't you, mama's boy? Wes Brown = shite. Mikael Silvestre = crap. Gary Neville = okay, but could've done better.
Well-done Chelski. Somebody needed to kick Man Utd's collective arse anyway. God knows it's been due.
None of the Man Utd back four (oh, and the keeper) deserve to wear the Man Utd jersey. Ooh Rio, 100,000 pound a week? World-class defender? You're having a right laugh, aren't you, mama's boy? Wes Brown = shite. Mikael Silvestre = crap. Gary Neville = okay, but could've done better.
Well-done Chelski. Somebody needed to kick Man Utd's collective arse anyway. God knows it's been due.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Exam Fever
I love you. You're my bestest-ever friend. You're the light at the end of the dark carpal tunnel. You're the thing that gets me through the days and nights when everything collapses around me; when it seems like I can't take it any more, you give me the strength to go on. Thank you.
And just know this: when everything is settled, when my exams and the "oh so massive strain it places on my bodily system that if I keep straining any further, I might develop what can only be described as a bad case of the hernies" that it entails is over, you'll be placed in the highest position you could ever hope to be in.
At the top of the medicine cabinet-lah. Where else should I put you, oh my precious bottle of paracetamol @ panadol @ neurofen?
Quote of the day:
"Lady, people aren't chocolates. You know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naïve, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine."
-Dr Perry Cox, Scrubs.
And just know this: when everything is settled, when my exams and the "oh so massive strain it places on my bodily system that if I keep straining any further, I might develop what can only be described as a bad case of the hernies" that it entails is over, you'll be placed in the highest position you could ever hope to be in.
At the top of the medicine cabinet-lah. Where else should I put you, oh my precious bottle of paracetamol @ panadol @ neurofen?
Quote of the day:
"Lady, people aren't chocolates. You know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naïve, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine."
-Dr Perry Cox, Scrubs.
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