Hey there folks.
I'm trying to fulfill my new years' resolution to update more often, so bear with me while I put my writing hat, so often left untouched over the course of last year, back where it belongs, which is to say, erm.. without overcomplicating things, my big ol noggin.
The year has started off in a crazy way I must say. The first three days back at work in January has resulted in two late night sessions already, and its increasingly looking like I'll have a working Sunday tomorrow, just to finish up my research note by Monday afternoon. Sigh. The crazy things I do for this company. Okay, the bonus makes up for all the suckitude throughout the year, but still...
But enough talking shop. I discovered an interesting thing today. Some of you may know that I was nominated by a friend (Nida, you know who you are!) for a certain award run by a certain women's magazine. Obviously I didn't win (not that it matters... really... *sniff*), but I just realised that the voting page is still up, and my nomination is still there. Feels kinda weird to read what she wrote; brings back a lot of memories.
In truth, I'm glad things happened the way they did. I guess at the end of the day, Allah just wanted me to have something better, someone who actually loved me, instead of an automaton who can't really see the woods for the trees (Sorry, ex-of-mine, didn't mean to lambast you there, but there's really no other way to describe it).
Having said that, I really, really wish I didn't have to go through all that sh*t, the pain of having to disassociate myself from her circle of friends, deleting her emails, burning her crap that had piled up in my room, erasing every trace of a life I had built up in my head. It was unfair, it was cruel, it was heart-rending, not just for myself, but for my friends as well, who could see me go through hell and back again, for the second time in my life.
Why am I going through this? Well, I know a couple of acquaintances who are going through tough times. I can't tell you it doesn't hurt, because it hurts like hell. I can't tell you that you'll feel better tomorrow, because you may feel as shitty tomorrow as you do today. But I can tell you that I've been there before, and I've gone down to the depths of despair, as far down as you are now. Grieve if you must, but just remember that you need to come up to breathe every once in a while.
Oh well. C'est la vie. What goes up, must come down someday. And no one stays down forever, Insya-Allah.
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2 comments:
As the saying goes, shit happens. And if shit is going to happen, it might as well happen sooner, rather than later-with-3-kids-and-harta-sepencarian. That's how I feel anyway.
True as true can be, old chap.
By the way, you're coming to my dinner party at end Jan, aren't you?
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