.:Updates:.

Well.. the results season is over. I’m supposed to be working on my PBB Oil model, but to be honest I can’t really be bothered to do it. It’s almost done, anyway, apart from linking up the ACE sheet and getting my forecast assumptions fine-tuned, which would mean I need to call up the company, but then again they won’t be in till Monday, so I…

Ooopss. Sorry… got a bit carried away there. Work’s been occupying my mind, as you can very well see. I’m tired. So tired. I’m so glad my week-long vacation’s coming up. I’ll be off to Dublin, people. So if anyone wants anything, you’d better hurry up and give me a call, before I change my mind (or change my phone number).

Yes I will be changing phone numbers; well, at least for the fixed line. Not because I’m being stalked or anything. It’s just that I’ll be moving out soon. I’ve got a new place off Jalan Kuching, in Sri Putramas. The place is good enough for me considering it’s a rental. It’s much more secure too compared to my old place.

Things have been on the up for me. Getting more involved in my work. Learning more and more each and every day. Never thought I’d be so happy so soon after the SWSNBN (or “she-who-shall-not-be-named” for those who need a refresher) fiasco. One thing that still bugs me though. I feel as if the whole entire 4 years was a complete blank. I have no good memory of the time. Admittedly, there were times when I was happy, when I was ecstatic even. But it’s all for naught, and now, although I don’t feel sad anymore, the cut went in too deep to fully heal just like that.

Alright. I’ll admit it. I’m scared. Scared of what the future holds. Scared that I’m not good enough for the job I’m holding now. Scared that I’ll never make it as an analyst. Scared that the person I love now won’t be the same anymore after a year or two (or three or four). Scared that I’ll have to face the same s**t all over again. Heck, it’s a wonder I can even get up in the mornings.

But as usual I’ll just get up and face these fears. I’ll look them in the eyes and stare them down, as I have stared down other challenges before. I may fail, and I may fall, but I will never fail to get up. My heart has been mangled, stabbed, shot, sliced, diced, shattered and mulched, but my spirit has never been broken. Insya-Allah.

As Farah would put it… “Chaiyok sayang!!” =)

Ps: This is probably just a result of male-form PMS, as Nads so eloquently put it over cvoffee yesterday